If we want to be an effective leader, then we need to develop our listening skills. One of the best ways to show that you are truly listening to what others are saying is to listen intently and empathically. This sounds obvious but it is a skill seldom mastered. Stephen Cove said that “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
It’s common for listeners to multitask, listening with one part of the brain while preparing a response with the other. Or preparing solutions and answers in your mind as the person is speaking. It is obvious to the speaker when a person is not fully interested in what is being said and is not fully present. This not only makes the listener look uncaring, but it may also influence the speaker to go elsewhere and it may lead to a missed opportunity or a misunderstanding.
Empathic listening is essential to your success as a leader. Hearing something other than what is being said or trying to think of what to say while the speaker is talking, can have negative consequences. Regardless of the industry you work in, empathic listening is a great skill to improve.
Most people struggle to listen when they are dealing with conflict or when they are trying to manage highly emotional people. People don’t listen when criticised, if they are anxious, or when they are feeling angry. Let’s face it when in a leadership role, we are dealing with these difficult situations daily. If you want to be effective when dealing with difficult situations or when you are dealing with performance issues, then how you listen will influence the outcome. As a leader your goal is to listen intently and with empathy in all situations. Listening to others gives us the information we need to get the most out of the conversation.
Tips to Improve your Listening Skills?
- Find areas of common interests by creating a positive attitude to the topic.
- Take the initiative to find out what the speaker knows.
- Avoid judging or jumping to solutions early and keep a neutral mind set.
- Focus on the speaker’s ideas and keep an open mind.
- Be curious about other people and their position and their ideas, even if it is contrary to your position.
Emphatic listening is a skill that can be learned and practised and is a key to great leadership and effective communication skills. If you want to learn more about listening skills and difficult conversations I am running workshops in Perth and Brisbane.
If you are an existing or emerging female leader and you live in the Pilbara, I have two workshops coming up in February in Port Hedland and Karratha that may interest you.